Friday, August 3, 2012

I Am A Despicable Human Being

Blogging. Such a responsibility, haha. SO many things have been happening this summer I don't even know where to begin. Let's start with an overview of what HAS happened and then we will proceed to what WILL happen.

HAS: Throughout the summer I have been babysitting (full time) and taking a couple of online courses so I can graduate early. Yay for saving moneyz, right?! On June 14th, my best friend asked me to spend the rest of forever with him, and of course I said yes! More to come on that later if you so wish. Yep, well that about covers my summer, work work work, engagement! Not too bad, right? However there has been a lot of learning going on, and not just from my classes. The Lord is teaching me ever more the importance of prayer, daily surrender and total dependence on Him. I cannot even begin to express how much I have been challenged and grown in these areas and I hope to continue much much more! I miss so much the community  I built in Tuscaloosa and absolutely cannot wait to get back and invest in some serious relationships! Therefore we move on to...

WILL: This Fall I will be starting my second year of college. Oh my word, right? Time seriously flies. I am super pumped about getting to start my REAL English major classes *nerd alert* and living with three of my favorite people ever. I am going to be a Lifegroup leader with a couple of other great girls that I hope to get to know more and grown closer to! Lifegroup leader. Yikes. Every time I think of it old fears of vulnerability and ability to lead spring to the surface as if I never attempted to conquer them. Apparently we still have more work to do. I am very anxious about learning more about Christ and what He has to teach me in this context.

Whatever happens this year I greet it with an unexpected thrill and energy to tackle it head on. God has thrown some crazy things my way and I know He isn't done with me yet. So I press on towards the goal of the prize of the upward call of God in Jesus Christ (Philippians 3:14).

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

The Passover

First off, I know I haven't written in a while, shame on me. I've been busy pretending to be busy at school when in fact most of my activities have been recreational such as my first 5k race in Atlanta, and this upcoming weekend trip to Disney World, WOO!

Anyway, I know it's not Friday and that's what the title implies, but it works, I promise. I'm going to try to make this as concise as possible and still be able to blow your mind.

Lastly, I was trying to tackle too much with this post. I'm going to split it up.

Easter: the holiday that we, as Christians, use to celebrate the death and resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! But to understand the gravity of His death we have to start with the story that led up to it.

Actually we have to start about well...a long time before that. So when the Israelites were captive in Egypt, God sent Moses to tell Pharaoh to let them go and he didn't want to so God sent the ten plagues. And then God told Moses to tell the people that they needed to be ready to go at a moment's notice (so they didn't have time to put yeast in their bread to let it rise, hence unleavened bread). Not only that, He told them that they needed to find a lamb, sacrifice it, and put the blood on the door so that the Angel of Death would pass over their house (pass+over=Passover). If you want to read the rest of that story go read more or less Exodus 8-11.

So the Isrealites were eventually set free and they started having an annual Passover meal to celebrate their liberation and anticipate the coming of the Messiah. So Luke 22 lays out the Passover meal that is often referred to as The Last Supper because it was indeed the last supper of Jesus. So they were just going along through the Passover meal tradition (after Jesus washed their feet, but that's an entirely different animal) and Jesus takes the third cup, the cup of redemption and blessing and holds it out to them and says "this is the new covenant in my blood, drink." Weird, right?  Well, what he was basically doing was "proposing" to them. What was He proposing? Marriage of course, that we (the church) would be his bride. What does it mean? I'm glad you asked. So in those times, when a man proposed the woman would drink to say yes or not to say no. And what would happen after she accepted is that the groom would go back to his home town while his father built an extension onto their house for them to live in. So the bride didn't get to see the groom the whole time they were engaged and he wouldn't be able to come get her until their house was finished. Who decided when it was finished? The grooms Dad. Let me connect the dots for you. Jesus proposed to the disciples (us) and they (we) said yes. Keep in mind this is hours before He died. He knew He wouldn't see us for a while, so He told us that He would send a helper to us (The Holy Spirit) while He was away. What will He be doing while He is away? Building a house for us, an extension of His father's house. When the Father decides it is done, He will send His son back to receive His bride (us). The best part is that He knew what He was getting himself into with a bride like us! We are not by a long stretch worthy to be the bride of Christ, His closest followers betrayed, denied and doubted Him! He proposed to someone that would cause Him the greatest heartache imaginable, yet He still calls us Beloved which means "one bought with a price."

citations for this post:
John 14:1-2, 16
Ephesians 5:23
Revelation 19:7-9
Matthew 24:36

To keep myself accountable, the follow up posts that correlate with this one will deal with the following topics: Old Covenants, New Covenant, Resurrection Sunday, the Character of Jesus

Friday, March 23, 2012

Spring Break 2012

I am the worst blogger ever! Sorry to keep my minimal number of readers waiting.

This Spring Break has probably been one of my favorites ever. I had the opportunity to go to the Dominican Republic on a mission trip with 8 other students and 4 adults. The experience was amazing, to say the least. I don't even know where to start with telling you all about it!

Our focus was in a small community called Soto near La Vega.

Sunday we sang/spoke at church to a congregation of about 70 kids, 4 women, the pastor, and the music leader (the only two men there). That afternoon we hiked up a GINORMOUS mountain and saw a beautiful waterfall! God is so good.

 Monday through Wednesday we did morning and afternoon backyard Bible clubs. We had about 50-60 kids at each one every day! Day one: Creation. Day two: Jesus's life and miracles. Day three: Salvation.

Monday afternoon we went to one of the poorest communities in La Vega called "The Rails." These poor, sweet children come out of the wood works and cling to you because they are so starved for human interaction and affection. It was both a humbling and precious moment to look into that little girls eyes and repeat the only Spanish I knew "you are beautiful, I love you and Jesus loves you" and to see her eyes light up and see her smile and feel her arms wrap around me for dear life.

Tuesday morning we woke up early and went into town to get some street made empanadas. SO GOOD! And then we went to the market and picked our lunch out. And by that I mean we watched them slaughter and cut up the chickens and then we ate them 4 hours later. Talk about fresh. :)

Thursday we went white water rafting! It was my first time so I was a little nervous, but it was beautiful! And then that night we went into the schools (only the second evangelical group ever) and talked to the kids about the importance of leadership and their potential to change their world.

Friday: Youth rally! Soto has a little "club house" where we pumped up some Hillsong and let kids come so we could just hang out with them and talk to them more about 1 Timothy 4:12

God is moving in such mighty ways in Soto! Our church has sort of "adopted" that area into our mission field so we will be sending multiple groups to the same area to invest into the lives of the people. Gotta start saving money for next year!

Friday, March 9, 2012

Everyone Needs Compassion

It's really hard to come up with a title for this post. But ya'll should be happy that blogging made my to-do list of things to do before I leave the country! I thought I had gotten over my extreme and irrational fear of this trip, but not we are less than 24 hours away from being there and I can't get these butterflies out of my stomach. Not to mention something that could completely make or shatter my world is happening while I'm gone and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

But nevertheless, God is doing great things in my walk! On Wednesday night we watched a simulcast of a documentary called "Love Costs Everything." If there is ANY way for you to get a hold of this documentary, do it. It broke my heart and has really got me thinking, in the good way of course. But it's still scary!

Basically it is about the persecuted church. In 2003 Iraq had 2 million Christians. Guess how many they have now? 200, 000. About 10% of what they had just barely 9 years ago. A pastor baptized 13 people one Sunday, and by the next, 11 were dead. And listening to these people who have been beaten down, literally, by people of Islamic and Hindu faith just shatters my heart. But it is more than just sympathy. Do I hurt for them, yes. But it is so much deeper. When asked what they wanted to happen to the people that so brutally persecute them they say without hesitation "I pray for God to have mercy on them and forgive them for their sins." WHAT?!

This makes me think of a couple different things.
1- Paul. He is imprisoned, right? And he is writing his letter to the church in Ephesus. And what does he say? He says "pray for me that word be given to me that whenever I open my mouth I may fearlessly (boldly) proclaim the gospel for which I am a prisoner in chains." Again, WHAT?! How easy would it have been for me to write "pray for me that they free me from these chains" or "pray that God strike down these people that have hurt me." But he prays for words to fearlessly proclaim the gospel. Does that not blow your mind?

2- When Jesus was being beaten he looks up and says "forgive them, for the know not what they do." They don't know what they do? Sure they do! They know they are beating and crucifying and innocent man, don't they?! But I was reading the other day about how people that don't know Christ don't have the knowledge that we have. And that makes sense. They don't know what they do. Because they don't know that God is the Most High God so they don't know that they are literally killing him.

I am so baffled by this compassion. And I feel like such an awful person because a lot of times I can't even show people grace when they step on my heel on the sidewalk, or step into my path or say something hurtful. These people have compassion on the people that want to kill them! I pray so fervently that God enable my heart to harbor such compassion. And why wouldn't we want for God to have mercy on them? Are we so selfish that we think the kingdom of God is not big enough for all of us? That it somehow isn't just for them to get into the kingdom of God for committing sins just like we have? We play the "your sin is worse than mine" game. We play God and want to cast eternal judgement on them because of what they have done to US.  How stupid and selfish of us! The love and salvation of God is for all that will accept it!

It makes my head hurt when I try to find this compassion within myself. And it makes my heart hurt when I realize that I can't. But that's exactly why we need God, isn't it?

Monday, February 27, 2012

Peace Like a River

I'm feeling a lot less freaked out and drama queenish since my last post. Aren't you glad? I thought you would be. God has revealed a couple of pretty awesome things to me since then and I am so excited to share them with all of whoever you are!

First on the agenda is the fact that the Beth Moore study on Daniel is fantastic and every single one of you should do it because it will twist your perspective into positions you never thought possible and also blow your mind to shreds at the same time. But something I thought was really interesting was said in my lesson the other day. She was talking, or rather I was reading, about Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-Nego and the "fiery furnace." (SIDE NOTE: The Veggietales depiction of this story is one of my favorites ever in the world). Any way, she mentioned that in Zechariah 2:8 we are mentioned as the "apple of the Lord's eye." OK. So the apple of your eye. If someone came up behind you and tried to touch your pupil, would you notice it? Yes. Nothing can happen to us without Him noticing it. He feels it, knows it and sees it. But the most marvelous part about it is that He doesn't just sit around and do nothing. He heals you from the wounds that have been inflicted upon you. WOAH. I know.


Also..... PEACE. It was told me a few weeks ago that peace is not a feeling, it is a reality. This really confused me and I started to question what peace really is and how you know that you have peace. I still don't really know all the answers, but I have a few ideas. One of my fantabulous Bible study leaders that has become so dear to me said something along the lines of "peace is like joy. It is a continual reality that we have in Christ. When we are feeling down we draw from His endless supply of joy. We are always at peace. But when we are not, it is Him trying to bring our attention to something." Then this morning she sent me a text with Isaiah 54:10. It says "Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed." The Lord that spoke the world into existence took the time to speak these comforting words so that we not fret over the petty things of this world. Even though it seems like the world is falling apart, His love will not fail. His COVENANT of peace will not be removed. Who thinks God lies? Yeah....me either. So it must be true, right? Whenever I think about covenants I think of the beautiful picture of Noah. Not that this is the only covenant, but so far in my studies it's my favorite and the one we are most reminded of. So I think we can all agree that humanity, in a sweeping generalization, is pretty stupid. God knows it too, that's why He flooded us out that one time. ONE time. Does He get angry at us when we are stupid? Yes. Does He flood the earth again? No. Why? Because He made a covenant with us. Peace is also a covenant. So even when we doubt Him and wound him with our inability to trust and overwhelming ability to doubt His ability He will not take away His promise of peace.

Now don't you feel better?

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Comfort Zones

      I am having a little tiny MAJOR freak out! I'm sitting here at eleven o'clock at night having a complete melt down because of something I know I am supposed to do! Has God ever done that to you? He gets you to get comfortable with what He wants you to do but doesn't tell you about what all comes with it? It's funny, really. His sense of humor just never ceases to amaze me.

So I have been called to go on this mission trip, right? It's over Spring Break and we are going to the Dominican Republic. And at first I didn't know if I could sacrifice those work hours to go or if I could sacrifice the money I will have made up to that point, ya know? Well I got over it. At some point God just tells you to stop making excuses and do it! And I was so excited about it!

And then I find out all I have to do. I have to talk in front of a classroom of kids, play games with them, talk to them and be friendly, do Bible clubs and have a testimony prepared for any moment. I know this sounds sort of trivial and stupid and like how we should be on guard every day for someone to ask us about our faith, but this feels different. Have you ever been on mission trips with a group and you're the one that just watches everything? You still participate, but there is that one group of people that seems to be the most fun and outgoing that all the kids want to hang out with because their pretty and fun and they all end up getting heart warming pictures together? yeah...I was NEVER in that group. And it's scary.

Not to mention that I'm only really close with one person going and that one person happens to be my boyfriend. And I can't be that clingy girlfriend. Not that I want to be. I WANT to be able to be the fun girl that people want to hang out with. But I'm new to this group. They've grown up together. I don't like being the newcomer that feels like they have to force their way into the group. You know why I don't like being that girl? Because I never liked those girls. And I've seen the damage that those girls can do.

So basically what we have here is just another case of low self worth and a feeling of helplessness that God can't possibly use me in the ways that He uses other people. Which is ridiculous. Obviously He has called me to this and He is going to equip me, but aren't I allowed to be scared?

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Honesty is the Best Policy

Does it sound familiar? It should! You probably heard it a million and one times growing up, between mom and elementary school teachers, didn't you? Well it really is true, ya know...and it's about time we were honest with ourselves and with Jesus.

Nice segway, right? I thought so too. I am always so blessed to hear the Word of God from the pastor at my home church! And we are all tech savvy and have live streams on Sunday morning so I can watch from Tuscaloosa and you should check it out!

So he was talking this morning about being disappointing with God and not understanding what happens to us. I have touched on this topic several times, I know, but stick with me on this. Job. We've all heard of him. He was disappointed! And I probably would be too if just about everything I knew and loved got ripped from me...oh wait, it did. I'm taking this time to be honest with you in the hopes that you, whoever you are, going through the toughest time in your life will be able to do what it took me way too long to do. 

SO first he was super disappointed and he was all like "dad gum it, God, what is going on? Why is everyone against me, and why did people I love leave me just because I'm going through this?" or maybe that's what I said....you get the point. And God was all like "oh, my bad, are you the one that makes the sun come up? Do the lightning bolts answer to you? Does the ocean ebb and flow because of your voice? Oh...I didn't think so, that's me." And so Job was like "oh, right....my bad, I'll stop being such a whiney baby now because you are the One True God who knows everything and are sovereign even in our afflictions."

God is sovereign! Don't you get it?! It gives me completely unspeakable joy to know that even when I have not earthly idea what is going on, that God does! We only see a little picture of what is happening because we are finite creatures. We can only see what is happening here and now. God is simply IN time. We can't see the forest for the tree that's in front of us, but God is in the forest and can see what has happened, what is happening and what will happen. Does that not give you comfort? He KNOWS you're disappointed! We can be honest with other people and ourselves all day long, but once we take it to God we are going to stay in this pit of despair and heartache! I'm sick of despair and heartache! The Holy Spirit that is alive and well in my soul is much happier and encouraging company.

Us seeing God is sort of like looking at the moon. We all know there is a moon. Sometimes we can see all of it, clear as day, sometimes its completely hidden from view, and sometimes we can only see a little sliver of its great magnitude. But the moon doesn't really change, does it? Only our perspective of it changes.

I can't help but be so joyful to know that God IS there and will ALWAYS be there! I was a Job. We've all been a Job at one point or another, haven't we? But what happened to him? Go read it and find out. And then be honest with God. Hand it all over to Him  because no matter how hard we try, we can't hide our disappointment in Him from Him.

I feel like I'm being so redundant and I have so many other things to say, it's joy. So much joy. It can't be contained. A huge weight taken off my shoulders. I am free to grow and be in Him because I am not longer in that pit! But beware...Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy. He wants you in that pit because that's where you are vulnerable and he is most successful. But that's another post for another day.

Take heart! He has overcome the world!

* Passages that inspired this post were Job 19, 38, 42, Psalm 13 and Isaiah 55*