Peace Like a River

I'm feeling a lot less freaked out and drama queenish since my last post. Aren't you glad? I thought you would be. God has revealed a couple of pretty awesome things to me since then and I am so excited to share them with all of whoever you are!

First on the agenda is the fact that the Beth Moore study on Daniel is fantastic and every single one of you should do it because it will twist your perspective into positions you never thought possible and also blow your mind to shreds at the same time. But something I thought was really interesting was said in my lesson the other day. She was talking, or rather I was reading, about Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-Nego and the "fiery furnace." (SIDE NOTE: The Veggietales depiction of this story is one of my favorites ever in the world). Any way, she mentioned that in Zechariah 2:8 we are mentioned as the "apple of the Lord's eye." OK. So the apple of your eye. If someone came up behind you and tried to touch your pupil, would you notice it? Yes. Nothing can happen to us without Him noticing it. He feels it, knows it and sees it. But the most marvelous part about it is that He doesn't just sit around and do nothing. He heals you from the wounds that have been inflicted upon you. WOAH. I know.


Also..... PEACE. It was told me a few weeks ago that peace is not a feeling, it is a reality. This really confused me and I started to question what peace really is and how you know that you have peace. I still don't really know all the answers, but I have a few ideas. One of my fantabulous Bible study leaders that has become so dear to me said something along the lines of "peace is like joy. It is a continual reality that we have in Christ. When we are feeling down we draw from His endless supply of joy. We are always at peace. But when we are not, it is Him trying to bring our attention to something." Then this morning she sent me a text with Isaiah 54:10. It says "Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed." The Lord that spoke the world into existence took the time to speak these comforting words so that we not fret over the petty things of this world. Even though it seems like the world is falling apart, His love will not fail. His COVENANT of peace will not be removed. Who thinks God lies? Yeah....me either. So it must be true, right? Whenever I think about covenants I think of the beautiful picture of Noah. Not that this is the only covenant, but so far in my studies it's my favorite and the one we are most reminded of. So I think we can all agree that humanity, in a sweeping generalization, is pretty stupid. God knows it too, that's why He flooded us out that one time. ONE time. Does He get angry at us when we are stupid? Yes. Does He flood the earth again? No. Why? Because He made a covenant with us. Peace is also a covenant. So even when we doubt Him and wound him with our inability to trust and overwhelming ability to doubt His ability He will not take away His promise of peace.

Now don't you feel better?

Comfort Zones

      I am having a little tiny MAJOR freak out! I'm sitting here at eleven o'clock at night having a complete melt down because of something I know I am supposed to do! Has God ever done that to you? He gets you to get comfortable with what He wants you to do but doesn't tell you about what all comes with it? It's funny, really. His sense of humor just never ceases to amaze me.

So I have been called to go on this mission trip, right? It's over Spring Break and we are going to the Dominican Republic. And at first I didn't know if I could sacrifice those work hours to go or if I could sacrifice the money I will have made up to that point, ya know? Well I got over it. At some point God just tells you to stop making excuses and do it! And I was so excited about it!

And then I find out all I have to do. I have to talk in front of a classroom of kids, play games with them, talk to them and be friendly, do Bible clubs and have a testimony prepared for any moment. I know this sounds sort of trivial and stupid and like how we should be on guard every day for someone to ask us about our faith, but this feels different. Have you ever been on mission trips with a group and you're the one that just watches everything? You still participate, but there is that one group of people that seems to be the most fun and outgoing that all the kids want to hang out with because their pretty and fun and they all end up getting heart warming pictures together? yeah...I was NEVER in that group. And it's scary.

Not to mention that I'm only really close with one person going and that one person happens to be my boyfriend. And I can't be that clingy girlfriend. Not that I want to be. I WANT to be able to be the fun girl that people want to hang out with. But I'm new to this group. They've grown up together. I don't like being the newcomer that feels like they have to force their way into the group. You know why I don't like being that girl? Because I never liked those girls. And I've seen the damage that those girls can do.

So basically what we have here is just another case of low self worth and a feeling of helplessness that God can't possibly use me in the ways that He uses other people. Which is ridiculous. Obviously He has called me to this and He is going to equip me, but aren't I allowed to be scared?