This is seriously a big problem though.... a lot of times we procrastinate we miss out on such great opportunities (other than making good grades). I guess I'm still thinking about a friend that I lost and a brother that is in need. Do you ever feel like you could have done something more even when you know you probably couldn't have? Or that because you didn't do said action that everything is your fault and even though you've grown as a person since that time and you know you would know better know it still frustrates you to no end?
Well, even if you don't, it sucks. I don't like feeling this way at all. And it's all because I put things off. I always said "oh, I'll put him on the prayer list next week" or "I'll pray about it later" or "I'll give her a call when I get a chance" instead of doing it right then and there. And look where it's gotten me. Nowhere. In fact, sometimes I feel like I have retraced my footsteps. Instead of growing closer to God it seems like I am completely lost and have no idea where to go.
But I know this isn't the case. I know these things happen for a reason, and even if I had done those things that if this is all part of God's glorious plan of redemption of us to His glory, why am I worrying about it? I see all my friends going out and doing great things and being so strong yet I feel like I'm so stagnant an un-moving in my situation.
Timing is of the essence. I get so frustrated sometimes because this has gone on for so long and I just want to know why. I ask God "WHY? Why now? Why this? Why these people?" and the answer is always "wait." Or at least it is for now.
If anybody is reading this and has any encouragement I could really use it about now. I don't know why I get in these little funks. I just had a great night with some great friends. And you know what started it? A picture. One snapshot of a memory of a moment in time when all was (mostly) right with the world and all that mattered at that point was being silly, and being yourself around the one person that understood you for you and who now doesn't even acknowledge what used to be so perfect.
And all this post accomplished was helping me not study for history. But history is gone. It's all yesterday. All we really need to learn from it is not to repeat it, right? And that the good guys always win (or at least that's what my Mommy always told me). Even though sometimes the opponent can put up a heck of a fight and sometimes you just want to lay down your sword and give up. But then....the most marvelous word in all literature. BUT....then all is restored and God will bring glory to your sacrifice and His name through the pain and the suffering that has endured over generations. And sometimes all we have to do is wait.
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